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Grandparents who are raising a male child can follow these simple tips and guidelines to help you bridge the generational gap between you and your grandson, enforcing a balanced, healthy lifestyle. |
Maintain family relationships
Develop family traditions and rituals to maintain family connections. Even if the parents are locked up, it's important to maintain some form of communication. In a case of incarceration, letters can be an effective means of communicating. If transportation is available and you are up to it, consider taking your grandson to prison - depending on his age and maturity/emotional levels - for an occasional visit.
Get involved in your grandson's school
Grandparents should make sure they visit the school and attend school-related activities.
Advocate for your grandchild
For whatever reason, you are raising your grandson. He lives with you and you are responsible for his health and well being. It is important that you become involved in all aspects of your grandson's life.
Open lines of communication
Raising male grandchildren can be difficult because of the generation between grandparents and grandchildren. Grandparents need to be receptive to understanding different lifestyles and trends. Being able to communicate with your grandson about music, video games, dating and other things that represent his world is important.
Honesty is key
Depending on the age of your grandson, being honest about the situation of his parents is important. Obviously, you don't want to tell a 4-year-old that his parents are drug addicts, but an 11-year-old likely could handle being told.
Be consistent about family rules
Boys need structure. Grandparents must set clear rules and stick to them. Often grandparents over compensate for the loss of parents and use gifts as ways to maintain the relationship with their grandsons. It is not a good idea and, frankly, it's a hard pattern to break once begun.
A few things for grandparents to consider when raising boys:
- Boys need unconditional love, even during the times you don't really like them.
- Boys need rules and should be taught they must follow the rules or suffer the consequences.
- Boys need attention but shouldn't be the center of it at all times.
- Boys must have responsibilities in order to become responsible.
- Boys must know the theory of give and take.
- Boys must be taught how to give and receive love.
- Boys must learn that respect for others is so important, and so is self respect.
- Remember, caring for and about others helps boys become well-rounded.
- And please remember that a good, balanced education is absolutely vital in today's world for boys to become successful.
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