Raising a son in today's society is serious business with that being said. The Raising Him Alone Campaign is committed to disseminating information and serving as a catalyst for Serious Parenting within the African American community. With challenges that confront African American within the community it is critical that we spend greater efforts and time to support the healthy development of our sons. |
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"Raising my son in a tough neighborhood in Newark, NJ is like having two other full time jobs. I am afraid every time my son leaves the house. Although he is only 9 years old he has to grow up so fast. Coming home from school he has to watch out for dope dealer, stick up boys, gunfire from neighborhood gangs and the police. This is a typical day for my son!"
- Tina Johnson, Parent of a 9 year old African American male, (Newark, NJ)
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Before beginning this activity it is important for mothers to think through two basic questions: Are you still angry with your son's father because the relationship ended? Are you open to reconnect you son and his father in spite of the broken promises, lies and other issues that have impacted the relationship?
:: More about the homework assignment for a single mother
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The following are a few basic tips to help parents redirect angry male children. In addition to the tips below we strongly encourage parents to seek mental health interventions:
:: View tips for parenting an angry child
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Grandparents who are raising a male child can follow these simple tips and guidelines to help you bridge the generational gap between you and your grandson, enforcing a balanced, healthy lifestyle.
:: View strategies for grandparents
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Raising Him Alone Campaign is overwhelmed with requests from parents across the US, Canada and Caribbean to provide information on supporting families who have a son who has been arrested.
:: Learn what you should know
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When discussing the topic of sex with your son, it is essential to begin with letting him know that you want to be able to have an open and honest conversation. The discussion should be developmental in nature, based on your son's age and level of maturity.
:: More on how to talk to your son about sex
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Special Education has become a million dollar business. Although many black boys can benefit from the additional services offered within the public school system, it is essential that parents are aware of the limitations. :: More on the dilemma with Special Education
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:: The Family Unit
:: Household
:: Punishment & Discipline
:: Teach Your Son How to Act (Time & Place)
:: Education
:: Health
:: Let's Talk About Sex
:: The Real Deal on Drugs & Alcohol
| The Family Unit |
- Maintain an open and on-going relationship with your son's father (if possible, all attempts need to be made to cultivate this relationship)
- Surround your son with extended family and friends
- Create family meeting times with your son to discuss your lives
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| Household |
- Set fair expectations and limits with your son - make sure expectations and limits are clear and appropriate for your child's age and ability
- As your son gets older, give him more choices, freedom and responsibility
- Pick your battles wisely. Things like your son's safety and respect must always be a priority
- Don't expect your son to like all of your decisions. As a parent it is your job to make final decisions
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| Punishment & Discipline |
- Talk to your son about consequences and being accountable for his actions
- Make the "punishment fit the crime." Avoid being too harsh even when you are angry
- Be consistent and realize that growing up as an African American male is tough. Oftentimes we are too punitive with our sons.
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| Teach Your Son How to Act (Time & Place) |
- Teach your son by your example what to do, not just tell him what he should do
- Help your son learn the power of solving conflicts- Our sons can not physically fight their way out of every situation
- Distract your son from unsafe activities- prior to age 12, an alarming number of boys get involved in carrying weapons to school, experimenting with sex and drugs
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| Education |
With the alarming challenges that confront African American males in public education, it is critical that parents take a more active role in their child's education. Often the burden of being a single parent overshadows going to PTA meetings and even checking homework.
When parents are involved in their children's education at home, they do better in school. And when parents are involved in school, children go farther in school. And the schools they go to are better.
- Develop a relationship with your son's teacher. Get your son's teacher's email address & cell phone number
- Create a system to make sure that homework and projects are completed- Check homework every night
- Eliminate TV viewing on school nights
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| Health |
It is critical to introduce boys to the importance of preventative health care. As boys get older and travel from adolescence to manhood health care will be increasingly important.
- Select a pediatrician (the pediatrician may change as your son gets older)
- Good nutrition is vital to the proper growth and development of children
- Annual school physicals are a great time to talk with your pediatrician about any health, development, or growth concerns you may have
- Make semi-annual dental appointments a priority
- Consult a mental health professional- the trauma of having and absent father can result in anxiety and other mental health issues
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| Let's Talk About Sex |
With the over-saturation of sex in the media, teaching your son about sex demands an on-going flow of information that should begin as early as possible. With the growing number of teenage males becoming fathers, talking about sex is a conversation that we must have with our sons.
- Be bold enough to start the conversation- begin with discussing healthy & unhealthy touch
- Teach your son at an early age how to identify the difference between male and female body parts
- It is important for you to be the first person that talks to your son about sex- Do not leave this up to his peers, MTV, BET or VH1
- Explain your family values regarding sex with your son
- Remember the conversation should be developmental- the older your son gets, the greater the need for more information
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| The Real Deal on Drugs & Alcohol |
Like talking about sex with your son, discussing drugs and alcohol is important. Many males experience drugs and alcohol at a young age. For many boys, marijuana is introduced by peers at school as early as elementary school.
- Create a drug free and alcohol free home- children do what they see more than what they're told
- Explain and model your family values regarding drugs and alcohol to your son
- Discuss the role of peer pressure- many young males get introduced to drugs and alcohol by "so called friends"
- Teach your son that marijuana is a drug and most people who get addicted to drugs start with marijuana
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