Are we bold enough to protect our children? In the past few months bullying, or the victimization of some of our youngest citizens, had dominated national headlines. You can hardly pick up a newspaper or turn on the evening news without hearing about a bullying incident. Interpersonal violence perpetrated by school-age children and youth has led to a rash of suicides, homicides and non-fatal injuries. The phenomenon of bullying supersedes race, class and religion and has become a pervasive issue in the lives of children, families, teachers and school administrators. For many children and their parents bullying is a nightmare, one that forces many families to seek legal action, relocate to a new school district or, in extreme cases, move to another state. In many situations parents exhaust all avenues to protect their children; however, schools must become more accountable for the bullying that occurs in their hallways and classrooms.

Just last month 13-year-old Nadin Khoury was hung from a fence in Upper Darby, a Philadelphia suburb, after being savagely beaten and kicked. Khoury, a young man from Liberia, was thrust among the ranks of thousands of children who are bullied and assaulted daily in public and private schools across the United States. In all, seven boys age 13-17 were arrested and charged with kidnapping and a host of other offenses as a result of the incident. To add insult to injury, the boys videotaped their heinous exploits.

While the incident didn’t happen on school grounds, it is essential that schools play a larger role in creating safe environments in and outside their buildings. Many would argue whether a school can be held liable for incidents involving their children that don’t occur on school grounds. While that is certainly debatable, the reality is parents expect a much higher degree of safety for their children.

Bullying and the senseless loss of precious life has become a national epidemic. Many kids who are bullied eventually stand up for themselves, fight back, and the bullying stops. Some bullied kids involve their parents and school officials to get the problem resolved. Sadly, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an impressionable 11-year- old student at New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, Mass, hung himself in 2009 after enduring repeated bullying at school. Despite his mother’s gallant efforts to intervene, young Carl was verbally abused on a daily basis. He was subjected to sexual slurs, taunted and called derogatory names. Seeing no relief in sight, Carl tragically took his own life.

Whether you are a young child who’s now attending a public or private school in the United States, or whether you are an adult who finished school years ago, can you even begin to imagine what life was like for Carl? And you imagine how Nadin must feel now that his savage beating has thrust him into the center of a national crisis in this country?

Conservative estimates and self-reporting data from youth suggest that nearly two out of three bully victims, or 66 percent, were bullied once or twice during the school year while one in five, or 20 percent, were bullied once or twice a month. Likewise, that same data suggests that one in 10 were bullied daily or at least several times a week. That is unconscionable in a society that prides itself on Democracy and whose Declaration of Independence states, in part, “…All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The above-mentioned estimates underscore the critical need for greater partnerships among schools, parents, law enforcement and mental health professionals to address the emotional and physical impact of interpersonal violence.

So I go back to Carl and Nadin. What could the schools and the larger community have done to ensure those two young men were safe in and out of school?

That question lies at the heart of any meaningful discussion about addressing school bullying. The nation has held endless Congressional hearings and policy briefings on bullying, but I maintain that is hardly enough. A new conversation that places children’s safety at the forefront must emerge. It must emerge now!

The incidents involving Nadin and Carl should awaken the consciousness of our nation and prompt us to begin raising critical concerns about schools, communities and the safety of our children. It is amazing to me that in 2011 a large percentage of our children are often victimized in and around the one place – outside of their homes – that should be their oasis. While many schools are doing exemplary work to address bullying and the problems it spawns, and while some of those same schools are also addressing anti-social behaviors, the sad reality is many schools are failing to provide adequate protection for our children.

Finally, at the end of the day parents must continue to be their children’s first line of defense. Greater communication between parents and children is needed to attack the vicious problem of bullying. We also need a better system to monitor the daily challenges our children face in school. There’s no doubt the statistics I cited earlier in this commentary are alarming, but the unfortunate truth is many more bullying incidents go unreported because children are too ashamed – or afraid – to disclose them. They don’t report these egregious incidents because, in some cases, they don’t have sober, responsible adults in their lives in whom they can confide, sober, responsible adults who will know how to immediately step in to help rectify the problem. This speaks volumes about the need for adults to “step up” and become better parents and better advocates for children.

If we don’t wrap our arms around this problem and truly begin to address bullying today, in 20 years the vulnerable children we are failing to protect now will be vulnerable adults. It’s time to wake up, America. Bullying has gotten out of control. The time for action – whether you’re a parent or not – is now.

David Miller is Co-Founder and Chief Visionary Officer of Urban Leadership Institute, a social enterprise based in Baltimore. Miller is also the Co-Founder of the Raising Him Alone Campaign (www.raisinghimalone.com) an effort to support single mothers who are raising male children.

Historically, the role of Black men and fathers has been minimized by mainstream media and marginalized by society. Media assaults on the images of Black fathers have been well documented over the last 25 years. While several television examples of responsible manhood and Black fatherhood can be cited, including Sanford and Son, Good Times, The Jeffersons, The Cosby Show, Roc, The Bernie Mac Show and Everybody Loves Chris, the vast majority of images depicting Black fathers are devoid of any social or political responsibility as well as allegiance to our families.

Television shows like The Game, produced by actor Kelsey Grammer who starred in Frasier, continue a long legacy of portraying Black men as irresponsible and incapable of maintaining healthy relationships. The fallacy of shows like The Game is they fail to provide balanced perspectives of Black family life and culture. While The Game is merely entertainment to most, it continues to perpetuate destructive images about Black life and culture. Several parallels can be made to Zip Coon, a caricature that emanated from the Antebellum South. Zip Coon, an exaggerated figure, was created to depict Black men as lazy, easily frightened, chronically idle, inarticulate and unable to reason or comprehend.

The Game, which was thankfully canned by the CW Network, was subsequently picked up by BET as a result of millions of fans displaying outrage over its cancellation. Sadly, The Game debuted on Jan. 11, 2011, with more than seven million viewers glued to the tube. It saddens me that so many people – undoubtedly most of them African-American – got so outraged over the cancellation of a stereotypical television show when, by contrast, I bet if you go to any PTA meeting at virtually any school in this country you’d be hard pressed to find many African- American parents in attendance.

While the media plays a large role in shaping public discourse, our daily actions as men and fathers must be questioned. Indeed, we cannot be absolved of our culpability in some of the problems we face. According to a report disseminated by the National Fatherhood Initiative, the federal government spends about $100 billion annually on programs, policies and services related to absent fathers. The report, “$100 Billion Dollar Man,” is a glaring indictment of father absence and the toll it has on the larger family.

A growing segment of the population has become accustomed to not recognizing Black men and fathers as husbands, caregivers, and sober, responsible and spiritually guided men who are courageous pillars of their communities.

At some point, reclaiming the essence of responsible fatherhood in our community must become an agenda item. In fact, I argue some point is now! If the current trends continue, the alarming rates of violence and high-school dropouts among Black men will continue to plague low- income communities. It doesn’t take rocket science or an advanced degree from Harvard, Yale or Princeton to see the effects of absent fathers on the emotional, physical and spiritual essence of Black boys.

These challenges have been well documented by endless reports, documentaries and talk shows. However, the long-term effects of 24 million children who go to bed every night without a hug or kiss from dad can account for a great deal of the drama and trauma impacting the hood daily. Legendary rappers like Tupac, Biggie, Eminem and Jay-Z have all echoed the unresolved pain that comes from being part of the “absent daddy club.” There’s no doubt that growing up without a father leaves an indelible impression on young boys. Jay-Z’s epic, “Song Cry,” is an emotional trilogy about the struggles young males endure when they grow up with an absent father.

This phenomenon must change if our communities are serious about raising healthy boys who will grow up to become responsible and productive members of society. With an alarming 72% of Black babies born to single, unwed mothers, the plight of our community has for many years rested on the shoulders of mothers, grandmothers and social service agencies.

We sincerely believe that fatherlessness in America has become the most pervasive social issue confronting society. Any examination of life in urban America reveals that fatherlessness was a problem 25 years ago and has surpassed “epidemic proportions.” The issue of fatherlessness, while it impacts all families regardless of race, class and religion, is acute within Black communities.

Fatherlessness along with economic depression, social isolation and the prison industrial complex has created a “love deficit” within our community. Want evidence? Ride throughout the vast majority of urban communities in the U.S. and you’ll see the by-product of fragmented families: Blocks of vacant buildings, gang graffiti, young men standing on street corners doing nothing or selling drugs and evening news segments highlighting violence resembling the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and other occupied regions of the world. Double-digit unemployment, astronomical recidivism rates, diminishing life expectancy and rates of HIV/AIDS are crippling a large segment of Black men.

It is my hope that we get serious about repairing, reclaiming and resurrecting Black families. It is highly unlikely that urban communities will see any prolonged community changes unless they make families a key component of a renewed vision. The vision to produce healthy families is an individual as well as a community responsibility. A community focused vision, measured by healthy families within communities, can produce safe schools and highly productive children and youth.

Changing the conversation about Black boys, Black men and especially Black fathers can improve our communities’ perceptions. This conversation usually focuses on the deadbeat dad and the “body count,” or the daily news (print and TV) depiction of the number of young Black males killed each day, each week and each month. Seldom do we see stories about the growing numbers of single dads who are raising children, but according to the U.S. Census bureau there are 13.7 million single parents in the United States who are raising 21.8 million children. A growing percentage of these single dads are Black males who are committed to responsible parenting.

Forging ahead we must look at fathers as serious men who are understanding, compassionate, nurturing and who have an overarching responsibility to family and community. It is time we create a new standard of accountability for fathers, one that clearly delineates minimum standards for male behavior and acceptable values and mores for fathers. Through a new standard of accountability, we can create definitions for manhood, masculinity and responsible fatherhood.

Finally, our challenge will be to create a word where 100% of our sons have an active relationship with their father or a father figure. The new frontier for Black fathers will require bold strides to ensure that every child receives 8,760 hours of love from his or her father. This is equal to support, love and guidance from their father 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

David Miller is Co-Founder and Chief Visionary Officer of Urban Leadership Institute, a social enterprise based in Baltimore. Miller is also the Co-Founder of the Raising Him Alone Campaign (www.raisinghimalone.com) an effort to support single mothers who are raising male children.